Change is unsettling. It's exciting. It can also be deelpy troubling depending on what stage of the 'change cycle' one is at.
The standard 'change model' oft referred to by behavioural psychologists and psychotherapists suggests that there are approximatley five stages of change.
In synopsis:
1) Disatisfaction with present circumstances
2) I quite fancy a change
3) Investigation of potential change 'states/circumstances'
4) Choose something, and make the change (you may not like the change and go back to an earlier stage).
5) Satisfaction with change and continuing on new path.
At present I think it is safe to say I am securely in stage 3, with a deep desire to take the leap into number 4. You see for me, thought not necessarily all, stage 3 is the troubling stage. Apparantly so many options, with one big decision to make.
Should I go to Australia? Should I do a PhD? Should I go work in a vineyard in France, learning the language while voraciously consuming vast quantities of vino rouge?
But surely thats exciting? Surely you feel like your 18 all over again? These are both reasonable questions a sentient individual might conceivably put forth. And yes, partly thats true. The difficulty is, if stage 1 is 'hell' and stage 5 'heaven,' then stage 3 is a veritable 'purgatory.' When you dont know what direction your headed, the limbo induced by wondering whether in just a short time you could be welcomed by St.Peter at those pearly gates, or alternatively damned to an eternity of hellfire at the 'l'hotel de Hades' leaves one feeling mildly queasy.
However, all is not lost. I feel as though I may be extracting myself from this purgatorial maze. My epileptic googling and 'field trips' have managed to narrow down my choices somewhat. In crude terms, with the proviso that I can always insert a 3rd, 4th, nth option; these are:
1) Move 'down under' (that includes the 'bleating' possibility of NZ...got family there you see)
2) Do a PhD at QUB (previously a total non-starter but has recently pushed other fine opportunities out of 2nd place). By the way, QUB is Queens Uinversity Belfast (my home town; I currently reside in London) for the uninitiated.
Im currently feeling a little lazy, and still got much epileptic googling to do as I contemplate my next move up the change ladder. While negotiating the snakes, I will end my entry for today on the request that you vote on what you have learned to date.
My next entry will be a sholarly critique of these (and possibly more) options.
For now, enjoy your equilibria x.
